Conversations With a 10-Year-Old: Treats

OMG I’m CRYING!! 😂

CHLOE: They’re having a dollar off deal at the pizza place for spirit night tonight, sooo….?????
MOM: Soooo…????
CHLOE: Sooooo… maybe we could get a little something something??
MOM: You’re going to have to be more specific.
CHLOE: You know…. Starts with a T and ends with an “EAT”……??
MOM: Teet?

Cue my own hysterical laughter. I didn’t know what it would sound like til it came out!! 😂

(She meant TREAT.)

Conversations with a 13-Year-Old: Virtual School, Day 2

CHASE: Mom, I’m done!
MOM: OK, I’m coming.
CHASE: Why?
MOM: To check it.
CHASE: Oh my GOD, WHY?!?
(Mom walks upstairs.)
MOM: Go to your task list. It will list everything that isn’t done yet.
(Clicks on tasks…. A HUGE list of things from the beginning of the school year appears.)
MOM: Omg.
CHASE: That’s all old stuff.
MOM: I can see that. Scroll down. (scrolls) What’s this ELA assignment?
(He opens it)
CHASE: Well I wasn’t sure what to do, but I read it.
MOM: It says to annotate the text.
CHASE: Yeah but I don’t know how to do that on here.
MOM: Well instead of just skipping it, why don’t you ask?
CHASE: Oh my GOD.
(MOM shows him how to edit the document, walks back downstairs, sits in chair.)
CHASE: Mom! It’s not working!

O… M… G…..

Conversations With a 13-Year Old: Virtual School, Day 1

We’re only about an hour and a half into this online learning thing, and I have already learned that online learning with a middle schooler is going to be exhausting. It’s a little like this (on repeat… over and over and over and over….):

CHASE: (10 minutes into the “class”) I’m done.
MOM: Already?
CHASE: Yeah.
MOM: Hold on, I’m coming. (walks upstairs, looks at computer) What about all this other stuff your teacher posted?
CHASE: Huh?
MOM: What’s this?
CHASE: I don’t know.
MOM: Well, click on it. (he does) Looks like a description of what you’re supposed to do for the assignment.
CHASE: What?!?
MOM: So get started on that.
CHASE: But it’s not due until April 10th!
MOM: So get it done now so on April 9th you’re not mad at me for not allowing you to play video games because you have so much work to get done.
CHASE: Oh my GOD, Mom!
(10 minutes later…)
CHASE: Mom, I’m done!
MOM: Hold on, I’m coming. (walks upstairs, looks at computer) OK, but what about the OTHER stuff your teacher posted?
CHASE: Oh my GOD, Mom!

I’m over it already.

Conversations With a 9-Year-Old: Living with Grandma

So while my dad and I worked on installing new outdoor light fixtures at my house, my mom helped the kids clean their rooms! Anyone who really KNOWS my daughter and her hoarding tendencies can imagine what a monumental task that was. So later that night as I was tucking her in and telling her how great her room looked…

CHLOE: Mom. I don’t know HOW you lived with her.

ME: (laughing) Why is that?

CHLOE: She kept saying we were almost done but then we never were!

ME: Oh, you mean like I do?

CHLOE: Well yeah, but she was just so… HAPPY about it.

(So basically my mom isn’t as bitchy as I am. I’m sure everyone who knows her is SHOCKED to hear it.)

Conversations with a 13-Year-Old: Mustache Madness

Conversation with Chase in the car today:

CHASE: (looking at himself in the mirror) Mom, I’m getting a mustache.
ME: I know. It’s freaking me out.
CHASE: Why?
ME: Why are you getting a mustache? Or why is it freaking me out?
CHASE: Why am I getting a mustache? At my age??
ME: Puberty.
CHASE: Haha, no but seriously. Why?
ME: Seriously. Puberty.
CHASE: Oh gawd.
ME: Yeah. It’s freaking me out. I don’t know anything about shaving that stuff so I don’t know what we’re gonna do.
CHASE: I’m gonna be one of those 8th graders with a big furry mustache!
ME: Um NO. No you are not. We will figure it out. YouTube can help us.
CHASE: Oh good.

NOTE: He would absolutely kill me if he knew I posted this. So shhhhh….!